I was browsing the Running Bug recently and found the following article, which I found quite funny – 30 things you never hear runners say:
1. I hope there are lots of over-friendly dogs out on my run today!
2. I’m so glad I had that burger before my run.
3. I wish all runs were uphill.
4. My shorts are just too short (men).
5. I’m waiting for it to start raining so I can go out on my run.
6. I don’t care that I didn’t get a PB – it’s all about the experience.
7. I just love the muscly calves that running has given me (women).
8. Ooh, let’s take the stairs.
9. No, I couldn’t possibly manage another piece of chocolate.
10. Oh I’m so glad I’m injured so I can take some time off.
11. My shins never hurt.
12. I find my foam roller so relaxing.
13. I’m so flexible – I can touch my toes AND put my head on my knees.
14. ‘Run Forrest, run!’ Bravo. What a witty and thoughtful observation.
15. I’m so glad (insert rival’s name here) beat me today, he/she deserved it!
16. I don’t need a new pair of trainers.
17. Let’s skip running today and watch football.
18. I can run in any old shoe.
19. I’m not hungry.
20. Lycra’s for losers.
21. Running is bad for your knees.
22. I love it when cars get really close to me when they go past.
23. I hate my slender toned body. Now I can wear skinny jeans *sigh*.
24. I always feel so depressed after a run.
25. I think I will leave my watch at home today and just guess how long I’ve run for.
26. I only run to keep fit for my race walking career.
27. I have a mental map of all the public bathrooms within 10 miles of my home (though it’s true).
28. I’m looking forward to hitting the wall at mile twenty.
29. I’m looking forward to mile twenty so I can take my next energy gel .. Yum.
30. I’m one hundred percent fit for this race, my training couldn’t have gone better.
I’d have to agree with the comments and add:
31. I don’t mind it when a group of people blocks the pavement so I have to run around them onto the busy main road.
What would your friends never hear YOU say?